Kerry A • New York • 32
I was on a short road trip with my dad, on our way to see my grandparents. I remember feeling like I had to pee really bad during the first hour or so of the ride, like maybe I’d had a lot of water or something. We had lunch at a diner, I went to the bathroom and I noticed it on the toilet paper. It was kind of a dark brown, but I knew this had to be it. I wiped some more, and sure enough, it kept on coming and was getting a little more on the red side.
I walked out and whispered to my dad, “I’m having my period.” He told me to quit messing with him. I told him I was being serious. Next thing I remember is going to the drug store and getting some Kotex brand pads and my dad persistently calling me “Kerry Kotex” in a sing-song voice all the way to our destination. It may not have been that persistent, but that’s certainly how I remember it.
I had known it was coming. My mom rocked with teaching me about reproduction, sexual health and puberty, and there were even some days I would wear pads because I’d be like, “yep, today’s the day”. If only this had been one of those days!
But even with being able to talk to my mom about it openly, I’m honestly still learning to navigate the world when “Aunt Flow” comes to visit. It’s an experience that’s just so unique for everyone, but also universal.
I really enjoy the menstrual movement and the momentum it’s gaining and I love thinking that young people feel they can talk to each other about it more, because when I was in high school, I felt so isolated. Even though I knew others were going through it, I thought surely I was the only one who had to deal with bulky pads or cramps this bad or this particular consistency of blood.
The first time I really connected with other menstruators was in college when I had a costume for a play that was literally a bikini, and I had to submerge myself in water on stage. Tampons had always freaked me out, and I had never been successful with them, but now it seemed I had no choice (I certainly hadn’t heard of the cup, and period panties weren’t even in the furthest reaches of my imagination). My roommates and some of my cast mates gave me different ones to try and encouraged me not to give up. And I did it! I was embarrassed at first, but ultimately felt really good about sharing in this common experience.
As part of the menstrual movement, I have become really interested in the way that non-menstruators react to the concept of menstruation. So I reached out to my dad some two decades later and asked him if he’d care to share some thoughts. He said that being with me during my menarche simply made him feel like a dad (awww!). He understood that periods happen to half of the population, and that they are good and natural. He was only reasonably panicked about not having supplies on hand, but felt calm after we got to the drug store. He said he doesn’t know too much about it and he’s honestly glad he doesn’t have to go through it, and he does the best that he can to provide support to his partner when she’s on her period. While I don’t expect to see him headlining Period Con any time soon, hearing this warmed my heart. I know there are many dads out there that don’t share this perspective.
He joked that I still owe him for those pads that day… I told him he could deal.
