Molly M. • Illinois • 27
I was 15-years-old and on the Freshman basketball team. The whole practice I was getting cramps, but only ever knew the dehydration/working out-version of cramps, which are very different than period cramps. I remember thinking “Wow, what if I shit my pants in practice right now?”
I made it home and when I pulled my spandex off (I was also a volleyball player who wore spandex under everything) I realized it had been my period. As a Freshman, there was never a moment of “What the fuck is that??” but instead “Huh. That’s darker than I expected.”
My sister, mom and I were the only ones home so I quietly told my mom. Who, being as dry and sarcastic as I am, responded with “God damnit I was hoping you’d just never get it. Ugh fine welcome to this part of your life I guess.” When I asked where we kept the pads, she told me but finished with “Trust me, you’re going to want to just go ahead and try a tampon. So much more comfortable. It took me years and I regret not trying it sooner.”
So there I was. Day 1 of my first ever period. Wearing a tampon. Incorrectly. I remember thinking “If tampons are that much more comfortable I can’t even imagine how uncomfortable pads are.” The second time I used a tampon, I figured out you really gotta shove that shit up there. I got it right and it was like “Ohhhhhhhh this makes sense.”
**As a final thought, I was a late bloomer in a lot of ways. Especially when it came to being the last among my friends and classmates to get my period. It felt like a club I wasn’t part of. Which looking back is ridiculous. But I will say, one of the things I was missing out on was the support period-having people quietly give each other from a very young age. It gets lost in the “cat-fight” narrative applied to high school girls. But you could walk up to anyone who gets a period, friend or “enemy” and ask for a tampon and you would be met with urgent help and generosity. Even the silent pity you’d feel for the classmate who had to explain why they were taking a pencil case to the bathroom is a level of empathy I didn’t understand before. Just saying. Periods are powerful.
