Third Underwear's a Charm

Rachel H  •   California  •  26

April Fools’ Day, 2005. 

My mom took me shopping for new curtains at Macy’s... or maybe it was still Robinson’s May (RIP) and we left with a lot more than moderately priced home decor. 

As we walked through the kitchen appliances my insides felt all mushy. I told my mom I wanted to quickly run to the bathroom, and being that I was only 13, my mom had to chaperone me on my race there. I looked down and to my complete and utter surprise, I had shit myself! It had been 10 years since such a thing had happened. Was this an April Fools’ Day prank?! Mortified, I chose to secretly throw away my underwear and get back to shopping. (Prioritizing has never been my specialty.)

Once I got home I showered, put on a clean pair of undies, and went about my day! Only... it happened again. And then again. I kept having these accidents! I had gone through about three pairs of underwear at this point. I had no choice but to tell my mom about this terrible April Fools’ Day poopy pants prank that my body was playing on me. She immediately knew it wasn’t poop... it was my period! SO MUCH WORSE.

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I didn’t want to be a woman yet! What would my dad think? What would my older brother think?! This freaking sucked. My mom gave me a pad and took me outside to go on a walk. I felt so uncomfortable with this big diaper thing between my legs. She explained to me that getting my period wasn’t a big deal but I didn’t believe her. I made her pinkie promise not to tell a single person. 

The next day I nervously drew a small red dot on my hand. My best friends and I made a pact that when one of us got our first period, we would put a red dot on our hand to avoid the awkward conversation about first periods. Turns out, I wasn’t the only one who had gotten her period! We laughed and joked and made a pinkie promise not to tell anyone.

Surprise! Love, Mother Nature

Amani R  •   Connecticut  •  22

Ha, bloody you say? More like a dark brown ooey-gooey sticky, situation going on down there. 

I remember I was in 6th grade and pretty much all of the girls around me have already gotten their period and went through a few cycles by then. Sharing with one of my friends in class that I haven't gotten it yet, left her with a rather appalled expression. No feelings of embarrassment, but I felt that this made me special, this made me pure. 

And just how oddly the Universe works when you think you've got it all and smell the roses, mother nature surprises me for her first birthday. 

No feelings of excruciating cramps, bloating or mood swings (that I now experience), but just extreme wetness. I knew I was old enough not to pee on myself, but couldn't figure out this discomforting wetness while sitting through English.

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Carefully and curiously walking to the restroom, I lock the door, prop above the toilet and gasp loud enough my heart joins in to the melody. 

"What is this?" "Amani, did you just poop on yourself?" "Or, maybe you sharted... Either way, this is plain weird."

Of course, the restroom had no pads or feminine products for me to turn to in case I came to my senses to realize that this was actually my first ever menstrual cycle. But the good ole' faithful toilet paper would have to suffice. 

Walking out of the restroom, slightly limping and unsure of how to carry on with this diaper-like wad of tissue cuddling my vagina-- I settled in with this thought. 

"Wow, I'm a woman now."

Are you there Period? It's Me, April

April D  •   Idaho  •  33

After reading "Are you there God it's me Margret" and several other whimsical books about periods, I pictured that my period would be a small, convenient puddle of blood once a month that would be no big deal. Imagine my surprise when I woke up one summer morning to a gigantic, bloody, stainy mess. I had not anticipated such a disaster and I could not believe how messy the whole thing was!

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I broke out my maturation kit from school and was amazed to find that the pads I thought were silly big were 100% necessary for maintaining clean panties. I honestly don't remember much more from that first period, but that was the beginning of so much for me!!